There's a place where I'm at right now that's hard to describe.
It's that brand new feeling.
The kind of place that's familiar yet completely unfamiliar.
It's like staying up till morning yet feeling like you've slept all night.
Or being homesick for a place you've never been before.
Like hating something your whole life and then suddenly realizing
You love it more than anything, and always have.
Like being best friends with a complete stranger.
It's infantile in a sense. Completely innocent.
Illogically reasonable, or unreasonably logical.
Like watching something incapable of choice or emotion
Give its life so that someone else may live.
I like this place. It's a natural high.
Like some existential fear has been lifted from me.
I could get comfortable here.
Yet, I wonder,
Will I tear it apart like I tend to do with everything else?
Or will this time finally be different?
For the first time, or maybe the last time... the only time...
I am alive, and I am grateful; everything is different now,
Yet absolutely nothing has changed.
7/22/08
DO YOU REALIZE??
DO YOU REALIZE THAT EVERYONE YOU KNOW, SOMEDAY, WILL DIE. AND INSTEAD OF SAYING ALL OF YOUR GOODBYES, LET THEM KNOW YOU REALIZE THAT LIFE GOES FAST; IT'S HARD TO MAKE THE GOOD THINGS LAST.....
so my great great grandpa died today. I'm the only person who isn't sad. I mean, it sucks that he died but he was almost 100 years old and on top of that he's had two serious strokes this year. It was his time, we should be happy he was ever with us, and we should be happy that he has escaped the pain of being a man. All of us will die. I will die, you will die, Paris Hilton will die. Robin Williams, Bill Murray, Serj Tankian, Daron Malakian, John Dolmayan, Shavo Odadjian, Tom Morello, Josh Carroll, Matt Boyden, The Rev, Cassey Guillory, My future daughter, her mother, my cats, your cats, your dogs, Satan, Santa Claus, Barack Obama, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Jessica Simpson, the Coen brothers, and George Clooney will all die someday. What makes you any different? IF JESUS, ANNA NICOLE SMITH, HEATH LEDGER, ALBERT EINSEIN, ALBERT HOFFMAN, ABBIE HOFFMAN, JIM MORRISON, ELVIS PRESLEY, JOHN LENNON, JFK, AND ESTELLE GETTY CAN DIE, SO CAN YOU! Don't fear it, embrace it! (not in the way an emo kid does, but in the way someone who can honestly say they lived a full life could do) So if someone dies, don't let it catch you off guard. Sure, it's okay to be sad and miss that person, but don't completely lose it. Expand yourself and realize anyone can die at anytime. Be grateful for the time spent with that person, and be happy that they don't hurt anymore. Peace and love. -AK.
so my great great grandpa died today. I'm the only person who isn't sad. I mean, it sucks that he died but he was almost 100 years old and on top of that he's had two serious strokes this year. It was his time, we should be happy he was ever with us, and we should be happy that he has escaped the pain of being a man. All of us will die. I will die, you will die, Paris Hilton will die. Robin Williams, Bill Murray, Serj Tankian, Daron Malakian, John Dolmayan, Shavo Odadjian, Tom Morello, Josh Carroll, Matt Boyden, The Rev, Cassey Guillory, My future daughter, her mother, my cats, your cats, your dogs, Satan, Santa Claus, Barack Obama, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Jessica Simpson, the Coen brothers, and George Clooney will all die someday. What makes you any different? IF JESUS, ANNA NICOLE SMITH, HEATH LEDGER, ALBERT EINSEIN, ALBERT HOFFMAN, ABBIE HOFFMAN, JIM MORRISON, ELVIS PRESLEY, JOHN LENNON, JFK, AND ESTELLE GETTY CAN DIE, SO CAN YOU! Don't fear it, embrace it! (not in the way an emo kid does, but in the way someone who can honestly say they lived a full life could do) So if someone dies, don't let it catch you off guard. Sure, it's okay to be sad and miss that person, but don't completely lose it. Expand yourself and realize anyone can die at anytime. Be grateful for the time spent with that person, and be happy that they don't hurt anymore. Peace and love. -AK.
7/19/08
All We Have Is Now
As logic stands, you couldn't meet a man who's from the future.
But logic broke as he appeared, he spoke about the future.
"We're not gonna make it" he explained how the end will come.
You and me were never meant to be part of the future.
All we have is now. All we've ever had is now.
I noticed that he had a watch and hat that looked familiar.
He was me, from a dimension torn free of the future.
"We're not gonna make it" he explained how the end will come.
You and me were never meant to be part of the future.
All we have is now. All we've ever had is now.
But logic broke as he appeared, he spoke about the future.
"We're not gonna make it" he explained how the end will come.
You and me were never meant to be part of the future.
All we have is now. All we've ever had is now.
I noticed that he had a watch and hat that looked familiar.
He was me, from a dimension torn free of the future.
"We're not gonna make it" he explained how the end will come.
You and me were never meant to be part of the future.
All we have is now. All we've ever had is now.
It Overtakes Me...
"And I'm there, looking up at the sky. And I'm scared, thinking 'bout the way that I don't understand anything at all, and how it overtakes me, and I am just so small. Do I stand a chance?"
These words brought upon by The Flaming Lips made me realize something tonight... My entire life I've felt trapped.. almost as if I were in a giant snowglobe or a massive bubble, floating helplessly through everything... left to watch the world go by. I always wondered what made me feel this way, and why every time I look up at the sky, I feel trapped in a glass sphere. It occurred to me tonight that maybe the reason I feel this way is because I AM TRAPPED IN A GIANT SPHERE. WE ALL ARE. I can't believe it never hit me before. Now the only problem is how to escape this dilemma..... hmmm...........
These words brought upon by The Flaming Lips made me realize something tonight... My entire life I've felt trapped.. almost as if I were in a giant snowglobe or a massive bubble, floating helplessly through everything... left to watch the world go by. I always wondered what made me feel this way, and why every time I look up at the sky, I feel trapped in a glass sphere. It occurred to me tonight that maybe the reason I feel this way is because I AM TRAPPED IN A GIANT SPHERE. WE ALL ARE. I can't believe it never hit me before. Now the only problem is how to escape this dilemma..... hmmm...........
Somewhere at this very moment, Dick Cheney is wiping his semen off the back of a deaf asian child while thinking this to himself...
YOU DAMN COMMUNIST HIPPIE BASTARDS ARE RUINING THIS COUNTRY FOR THE REST OF US! HOW DARE YOU ATTEMPT TO OPEN OUR EYES TO THE THINGS WE'VE BEEN WRONGED WHEN WE ARE SO HAPPILY IGNORANT IN OUR DAILY NOTHINGNESS. HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO US OF A BETTER WAY OF LIVING, INVOLVING SHARING AND LOVE, AND PEACE AND HARMONY!? WE ARE APPALLED BY YOUR CONCEPT OF A WORLD FREE OF FEAR OR MISGIVINGS, AND TRUE TO ITSELF. WHAT KIND OF SANE PERSON WOULD EVER WANT TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE? LET ALONE NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ANYONE. WHO COULD POSSIBLY WANT THE MASSES TO BE EDUCATED AND INVOLVED IN THEIR SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT?! WHAT KIND OF WORLD ARE YOU DAMN COMMUNIST HIPPIE BASTARDS TRYING TO CREATE!? ...............................................
....well Mr. Corrupt Capitalist Corporate Pig, I honestly don't know what on earth possessed me to try and show you what I think should humanity should be. You're right. Who the hell do I think I am. Oh yeah, that's right. I'm pretty sure I'm a Communist "hippie". Peace and love to all you capitalists out there. -AK.
....well Mr. Corrupt Capitalist Corporate Pig, I honestly don't know what on earth possessed me to try and show you what I think should humanity should be. You're right. Who the hell do I think I am. Oh yeah, that's right. I'm pretty sure I'm a Communist "hippie". Peace and love to all you capitalists out there. -AK.
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